Mum's don't babysit their own children!

I want to begin my saying this is not a husband bashing post at all. I have an amazing husband who never gets to spend as much time as he likes with our daughter, who is very hands on and who has been at times before a brilliant stay at home dad.

However comments from this weekend have got me thinking and I want to see your experiences.

This weekend I had my baby shower and I decided that my 4 year old may be better spending the day with her Dad rather than being at a party where the focus and attention was not on her, and neither would the presents be for her.

When we were organising it I realised I was pitching the proposition as "you're going to have a special day with daddy" as it hit me how rarely it is just the two of them. Normally she is with me during the week and on the weekend it is family time. I guess as mum I am generally always there.

When people heard that hubby was taking her for a day out - well someone should have handed my husband a medal for how wonderful he was. While he is wonderful people reacted like he was flying solo to the moon.

Yes I was appreciative but I heard a lot of comments of "oh your husband is babysitting today, that's so lovely!".

But is it really babysitting when it is your own child? To me babysitting is something that is done for a favour or when money exchanges hands. Babysitting isn't involving your own child. Nope to me that is just parenting and a 50/50 shared responsibility.

How funny that dad's 'babysit' in people's minds when to me it is just parenting.

No one ever says "Oh mummy is babysitting you today while she goes and does the groceries" - no that is just a given that the kids are going to the shops with mum. That is just day to day. No standing applause for mum.

Does your husband babysit or is it shared parenting in your home?

Baby Shower for the Bump

Almost 34 weeks

My 'baby' all grown up at 4 now and excited to spend the day with Dad.

Well I managed to keep bubs inside until the baby shower and unlike his sister who decided to come out the evening of my baby shower, he is still on the inside. Raya was born at 34+2 and I am technically 34 weeks today so we will see if I can set a new record for how pregnant I can be.

This time around I decided to have another baby shower not to be selfish and to get presents but because I believe all babies are special and should be celebrated and that as a new mum it can be hard to get out and socialise and so it was really special to have all my close girlfriends together in the same place and feel spoilt before all the attention is going to a little cherub in 0000.

We went with an old world theme and my mum threw a magnificent High Tea at her house, putting in a lot of effort. She made table runners, the tables were full of tiny china tea cups, bite size morsels of goodness and a sprinkling of crystal vases with white roses and gardenias. Beautiful

I was spoilt with a beautiful collection of presents, a change mat I needed, designer pram cover, a photography session for a newborn, beautiful clothes, toys, nappies, cloth nappies, magazine subscriptions - just very thoughtful presents.

My first baby shower (which was also awesome) was really focused on the baby but this time around, with most of my guests having multiple children, it was really about me the mum.

It was lovely to feel everyone's excitment about his imminent arrival and feel the love for the soon to be newest member of our family.

A perfect 4th ballet birthday party

This time of year is very busy for birthday celebrations in my family. My mum, myself, hubby, niee and two nephews. But there was one special little birthday that we were really looking forward to celebrating - Aurelia turning 4. She was so excited to be turning 4 as it meant a year closer to being a "big, big girl and being 5".

I had planned the theme early knowing I would be in the final stages of pregnancy. Aurelia began ballet lessons this year, which are the highlight of her week, so choosing a theme was easy. I also booked in a party entertainer as I figured it would be money well spent with more than 10 four year olds in a small space and I was correct, the entertainer was worth every cent we spent.

With a theme in mind I filled my nauseated pregnant days searching blogs and Pinterest for inspiration.

I was willing to go all out. This would be the last birthday before her brother arrived and I wanted there to be a big fuss all just for her. I wanted her jaw to drop in amazement and hear squeals of joy when she saw the cake, table settings and 'real life' ballerina arrive.

I wasn't disappointed. Despite having contractions on her birthday, bubs stayed inside, we got through the day and Aurelia had a perfect birthday party. She was so delighted and we were thrilled since she bring us so much joy.

Here are some photos of her Ballet themed birthday.

The ballerina arrives

Aurelia squealed with excitement on seeing a 'real ballerina' arrive to her party - she had no idea.

The reaction when the ballerina walked in was priceless.

I chose an afternoon tea so that there was no need to do hot food and I could just put on a sweet, pink little buffet.

Raya loves cheezels and Oreos but I also did pink jelly, pink wafer biscuits, little girl biscuits, Angelina Ballerina topped fairy floss, mum's amazing cupcakes, pink fairy bread and watermelon.

The ballerina did parachute games

egg and spoon races, limbo

pass the parcel

 ribbon dancing

 Face painting (apologies I can't seem to rotate my images with blogger tonight)

 For her cake I attempted a rainbow cake. I need help with the baking and the assembling so it was really a MIL, myself and my mum effort due to my contractions with bubs. It turned out to be 5 layers high and can I just say how ridiculously difficult it was to make the purple colour - next time I will go to the effort to source Wilton gel colours.

 The cake had enough small sugar to put every child at the party into a diabetic coma but the nerve wracking part was not knowing whether it had worked until I cut into it.

 And we had success. We also had a cake too big to fit onto the small ballet paper plates I bought.

Not our best family photo - me flushed from meds and contraction pains

It was a magical day for a very special little girl. Happy 4th birthday Aurelia

Tic Toc, Tic Toc

This week I am 33 weeks into the pregnancy and figured it was time to give this blog another look in.


I have been blogging about this pregnancy with bumpstar on another private blog because pregnancy doesn't come easy for me and reading about the daily struggle isn't the best form of entertainment for followers of the blog. However since I have used this blog to keep people up to date on our lives for 3 years now, it seems remiss to not mention the pregnancy.


At about 26 weeks the hyperemesis improved to the point that I no longer wanted to die and I could dress myself, go in the car, shower and start to crave foods for the first time. This improvement was put down to us having a boy this time and less oestrogen then when pregnant with Raya.


I have been on insulin even earlier this pregnancy and while some people hate the injections, they made me feel much better.


My back has been far better this time around and Nick and I completed a calm birth class in the hope of welcoming our bub into the world with a VBAC, which our obstetrician is quite supportive of.


At about 28 weeks we had some false alarms with bad braxton hicks which were followed up with a severe case of gastro which saw me end up in hospital. 


Once I got home from hospital my body decided that it would try and deliver my baby early, even earlier than Raya.


At about 30 weeks I lost my mucous plug and my cervix began to shorten. This led to progesterone pessaries, ultrasounds, extra appointments and nifediprine. This medication has meant I can't drive - bad headaches, flushing and light headedness. I also got a course of steroid injections to improve bubs lungs.


My in laws moved into my house for about three weeks acting as cooks, cleaners, taxi drivers and furniture removalists as we set about attempting to ready ourselves for an imminent arrival. The obs expected me to deliver any day and we are all still surprised that I am still pregnant now at 33 weeks.


Walking around, exercise or walking up stairs brings on contractions and each day I wake we are happy to still have bubs on the inside. Mind you now that he is 4/5 engaged he feels like he is juuuussst staying inside.


I do feel like a time bomb. Tic toc, take it easy, make it another day. 


Tic toc, just get past 32 weeks so he can be at a local tertiary hospital. 


Tic toc make it to the end of 33 weeks so you can go to your own baby shower.


Tic toc, make it into the 34th week so that bubs can be delivered at the hospital I am booked in to and I can have another fetal wellbeing scan.


This pregnancy will almost certainly be our last despite Raya asking us to grow her a sister next time and it feels like it has passed us by so quickly. 


I haven't taken one single shot of my tummy which I regret. Perhaps there is still time to get some lovely shots.


Each day brings me closer to my son. I get so excited feeling him move inside me, becoming himself, growing stronger. When I do my relaxation CDs I visualise how it will feel to birth him and hold him in my arms, to see him in his daddy's strong hands and be showered with kisses from his sister.


Technically there are still 7 weeks to go but I am still sure that he will be making an early arrival.


Tic toc

Spoilt rotten

Yesterday was my birthday and hubby did a great job of spoiling me rotten.

Being pregnant as well it was extra nice for hubby to go out of his way to make sure I felt extra special. He had noted I wanted my wedding and engagement ring cleaned and  made sure this was done (even getting the band stretched so it can fit over my swollen pregnancy fingers) as well as finding me the perfect makeup case and Series 1 and 2 of my favourite show The Good Wife from 2011.

I have been craving sea food this pregnancy which is weird for me and nice to be feeling well enough to crave anything. I was hoping for a nice meal out but hubby really outdid himself with booking us a meal at SeaLevel.

We don't have a budget that allows for many indulgences but this meal was fantastic. The location, the service was spot on - and Nick used to work in the industry so can be fussy. We didn't begrudge a single cent of what we paid. To top it all off Aurelia was a perfect angel and happily coloured in after declaring she wasn't eating mermaid friends (she meant crabs and lobster).

After letting her run in the playground for being so beautiful at the restaurant we headed off to my parents house. Nick and Raya had made me a cake, and mum had cooked my favourite pork with my favourite birthday icecream cake - spoilt for choice. Nick's cake actually turned out to taste fantastic and the appearance - let's just say it was made with love.

Bubs made his presence known all day with lots of braxton hicks contractions but thankful no more hospital scares like we had on Friday.

After a swim it was nice to spend time with the family. All in all a very special day.

As a mum it is easy to spend energy giving to others so it was nice to feel so loved and appreciated by my family.

I am one very lucky 33 year old.

The memories laid down in the threads.

In preparation for our second little one joining us shortly I have been organising the clothes of my daughter to sell at a baby and kids market stall.


The progress has been slow. Not only because of the sheer volume of teeny tiny pieces, my daughter began life wearing size premmie, but because of the emotions.


When I look at the clothes I feel like my daughter has grown up in the blink of an eye. In the time it took me to exhale she moved from 00000 to a size 5. Just like that. Instant little lady.


Of course then I remember how at times days and hours have stretched before us both and we felt we had a lifetime to savour each stage of development.


But when I held these garments in my hands the memories came flooding back. I held up a tiny outfit to my husband who smiled and nodded with the "that's nice dear, a cute tiny outfit, what are you showing me that for" look. 


I remembered this is what she wore the first time she went to church. Each garment held a new memory. First birthday parties, the time she sat up by herself, my BFF son's 1st birthday party, cuddles as a newborn in 00000 outfits, her first Christmas, playdates with friends. I can recall even photographing her wearing particular outfits.


Now I expect her christening outfit and flowergirl outfits but I can recall a jumpsuit who my nephew had the same one of and the time we laid them in the cot together. Or the time she first wore teeny tiny denim jeans.


Moments which I thought had been lost to my memory were all stored away in the clothes. Knitted tightly like the threads of the garment. Making it harder to price each item cheaply to sell. 


Would I forget when I sold the clothes?


How we form memories, store them and have them triggered is fascinating. My mum has a way with numbers. She can recall telephone numbers of every house she has lived in, her highschool locker number while I am lucky to remember my own postcode.


Some people find their memories are linked with perfume or a smell that can almost transport them back to moments in time.


I kept working through the tubs of clothes. Smiling as each new memory came to me, and staring in astonishment at Raya until she wanted to know what I was looking at.


I am going to sell the clothes for the money and the space. Knowing soon there will be more new, teeny tiny clothes just waiting to be threaded with memories.

Feeling like a first time mum

Recently I found myself standing in a baby section of a larger store with a completely blank mind. I had a flashback of feeling like a 'new mum'. Now this is not to insult new mums but when I was a mum to be the first time I was unsure of many things - that giant leap into the unknown.

So I was a little unprepared to have those feelings this time around. Surely all the hours put in with the almost 4 year old who was doing the hard sell for a packet of Smarties had ensured I would be facing this pregnancy with a degree of confidence.

Surely I am not the only second time mum who seems to have conveniently 'forgotten' what the newborn phase is like. More realistically it is just denial.

People have been amusing themselves by assuring us that this second baby, our son, will be "our horror child". How charming. Thankyou to all those people who have no filter on their mouths and speak before thinking. I hope they aren't right a part of my brain whispers.

Second time around I am certainly more confident with wrapping I could keep houdini in, breastfeeding we overcame so many possible obstacles in our 17 months of feeding the first time and bathing slippery little things.

However I am totally drawing a blank on numerous issue. One of these is clothes.

What size am I meant to be buying? How many? My brain seems incapable of computing which season we will be in when our son is 3-6 months, 6-9 months and then will I need 00000, 0000 or god forbid I have to deliver a baby which fits straight into 000. Referencing to Raya is no help as we had to fold newborn nappies in half and she was wearing premmie clothes.

All of a sudden there is a chink in the confidence armour. Raya was a great sleeper who came home from the SCN in a routine and 4 hourly feeds. This time hopefully we will be straight home and establishing our own routines. Is that the sound of another chink appearing.

Has anyone else felt like a first time mum, second time around?